I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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