she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
