at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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