You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
