brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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