so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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