No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Enjoy the penises
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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