Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You were trust falling into bushes
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
