I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
