Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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