Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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