yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
