no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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