I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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