you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
