Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
