Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
