that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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