don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
