I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
