hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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