So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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