i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just found puke in my bra..
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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