Christians are straight up FREAKS
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
