Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You took a bar mat shot.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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