things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
operation harelip BJ is a go
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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