I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
