i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
