Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
How naked do you want me to be?
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