and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
