Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
