so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
