Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
