My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
