I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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