so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
