I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
