so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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