You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
if only i could text you this smell
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
