Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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