Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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