to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
