Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize