And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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