Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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