Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm determined to sit on that face.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
