God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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