We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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