If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
