so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
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I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
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"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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