too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
