what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize