we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
