yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just want to make out with him forever
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
