Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
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we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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