My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize