Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize