Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
