You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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