dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I need to sanitize my soul.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
