my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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